Thinking...

Sometimes I'm amazed at how much I love my husband. And, yes, that may sound odd. He's my husband, how can I be amazed at loving him. But, I don't know. I don't quite know how to express it. It's the little things about him that I am so stinking crazy about! The gap between his two front teeth. The way his stubble feels hours after shaving (I call it his sandpaper). The way it feels to wake up in the middle of the night, and realize that he's never let go of me all night long. The way he tears up when I'm crying, just because it hurts him to know that I'm hurting. The way he looks at children, longing for his own. The way he plays with my nieces and nephew, and his. The way he tickles me, even when I scream that I'm gonna wet myself! The way he does whatever he can for his family. But, mostly I love that he loves me. I've asked him before why he loves me, and he simply said, "Because I chose to."
There's a quote that has been in my parents house for as long as I can remember. It says, "I chose my love, and I love my choice." I feel as if that fits Brandon and I perfectly. I'm not a perfect person. I'm far from it, in fact. But, he loves me AND my flaws. All of them. And, I can only think of a few people that fit that description. And, for that, I love him even more every day. We haven't been married for long, but when I think of our life together thus far, I feel as if he's always been in it. I tell Brandon things that no other boyfriend, or even friend, cared about. And, who knows. Maybe Brandon doesn't care at all, but he is darn tootin' good at pretending he does!
He is my soul mate. He is my other half. He is the father of all of our unborn children. He is my husband. He is my best friend. He is the man that I want rocking beside me in a nursing home.
So, these things said. I miss him. Greatly. The last couple nights (and many before), I have had to eat dinner alone, and tuck myself in to bed. I know that I should be so grateful that he is so dedicated to his work, and I am. But, I do miss him. After a day of working 9 hours straight, I hate coming home to an empty apartment. And, I know that I'm being dumb. I can't get the best of both worlds. A man who is home all the time, and provides for me. But, ha! I'm allowed to be dumb. I'm a girl! And, a dang emotional one at that!
I was supposed to get off early today from work. So, Brandon rushed over to pick me up, and then my assistant manager informed me that she had changed her mind and I couldn't go home. I then had to go outside and tell my husband that he should leave because I wouldn't be getting off for about 2 and a half hours. It nearly broke my heart. I burst in to tears just walking out the doors of work. After barely seeing my husband for almost 2 days, not being able to leave with him when he was right there was just too much for the emotional child! hahaha
So, why am I writing this? To be honest, I'm not really sure. Except to have in writing and for the whole world wide web to know that I love my husband, Brandon Curtis Buchei. He waited years for me, and I am so grateful that he did. So, if I have to wait a few days, I guess I can do that, right? =)